How we got Jackson
I hope you enjoy this blog post and love our adoption story
as much as we do. For all of our friends and family who truly know me, showing
my personal emotions is really hard for me, but after writing this post, and
putting most of my feelings in here, I hope you find the joy and love in the
journey that Chris and I have endured.
Chris and I have always had the intentions to adopt a child;
we did not know if it would be at the beginning of our marriage, at the end, or
when we are 70 and have lots of cats. We
have been married for almost 5 years now and have discussed the option of
having a child. For the past 3 years of our marriage we have been trying to conceive
a child. We have seen many specialists and they have all pointed us into the
direction of In-vitro fertilization. After weighing our options and doing what
we believe is best for our family, we decided to consider adoption as one of
our options. Last October we found our amazing agency, Premier Adoptions. It
took two months to get finalized and to have all of our paperwork completed and
another month after that to receive our home study. We were officially clients
to this fabulous agency in February. In April, only two months later we
received a phone call that there was an expectant mother who was giving birth
in one week and had chosen the agency to select us. After hours of frantically
calling banks, family members and etc. we decided that this case was the one,
this child was going to be ours, This was going to be our shot to finally be
parents. The following week we drove to Nevada and waited to see our baby girl.
We received word that the birthmom delivered the baby successfully and that a
social worker will be waiting for us at the hospital. After hours of waiting,
in and out the hospital, naming the baby, holding her and bonding with her, at
the very last minute (48 hours later), we were told that the birthmom has
decided to parent her child. I cannot tell you the disappointment and the hurt
that my husband and I endured from that moment on. We understand and respect
the birhtmom’s decision to parent and wish her the best and hope she knows that
we love her.
After taking a what was needed week off of work, Chris and I did
not give up hope. We kept applying for other situations, even joined another agency
and put our profile up on adoptions.com. We even went to our fertility doctor
and discussed In-Vitro plans with him; after discussing in-vitro, we were
shocked to find out that the prices were the exact same. Chris and I then set a
plan that we would try adoption for two more years and if we were unable to
have a child by the means of adoption, we would proceed with In-vitro
fertilization. Six weeks has passed and there
were no adoption cases on our radar. After the school year ended, I made my way
to Canada to visit family and to head to Mexico. My summer vacation consisted
of me staying in Canada for a week, Mexico for another week and finish the next
couple of weeks in Canada visiting my friends and family. I went to Mexico and came back looking bohemian.
The moment I arrived at my sisters home I looked at our agencies website for
any adoption cases; that night there was a case for an African American baby
boy due July 22nd. After talking with my husband, this case sounded
perfect for us! We applied that very moment and anxiously waited for the webinar
informational meeting that following week. Fortunately, my husband got a call
the very next day stating that the birthmother was in labor and she was going
to be giving birth that day. They asked if we were still interested and if so,
they will be presenting the parents profile books immediately and we will know
her decision by the end of the day. Within a minute of receiving that call, my
husband received a call informing us that the expectant mom picked us! I
actually cried, tears coming down my face!! I was so excited, scared, there
were so many emotions coming into my mind and for all those individuals who
know me best, what do I do when I get a rush of feelings…. I shop! I went and
bought so many baby boy clothes. The next 72 hours were the longest and most
terrifying 72 hours of my life. Legally, after giving birth, the birthmom needs
to wait 72hrs to sign over her rights. During the 72 hours, which I might add
seemed like days, there were so many emotions rushing through my mind. What if
she changes her mind? How will I go through that again? Can I really handle
another failed adoption? During this whole time, I am still in Canada, awaiting
information on when visitation would happen. Luckily, I had the support of my amazing
family who were giving me the strength I needed. That is one of the things I
wish I could of changed, actually being there to meet him, and to meet her when
we got the call. So, after receiving the initial call of the expectant mom
picking us, we needed to wait to hear when the baby was born. The very next
day, July 3rd we received a call stating that he was born at 8:38pm
the previous day. Let the 72 hours begin (I pictured saying this in the “let
the annual hunger games begin” voice) We were so excited, but again, reserved
knowing what could happen. We then decided that Chris would leave as soon as
the hospital granted him visitation rights; we did not want him to leave and
then not be able to see Jackson. After giving birth, the birthmom was expecting
to be released ASAP but there were some complications that arose that forced
her to have surgery as well as a blood transfusion. As she was recovering, 48
hours later, my husband got word that the hospital was giving him visitation
rights and that Birthmom K wanted to meet him. After hearing this, I caught the
first flight out and made my way to Vegas as well. At this point we now have 24
hours until Baby Jackson will be in our care. I cannot describe the emotions I
was feeling as I was on the airplane going there, not knowing what could
happen, whether it is positive or negative; all I new was that I was excited
but very nervous for the unknown. After landing, Saturday night I was able to
meet Jackson’s birthmom the following day. I walked into the room feeling so
very nervous bus as soon as I met her, she already felt like family. I cannot
describe the love and gratitude that Chris and I have for his Jax’s birthmom.
She has given us the one gift that Chris and I could not have given ourselves
without her. We thank her so very much and cannot wait to see where our paths
go in the future. We love her very much and are very excited about our plans in
the future as a family.
How we named him
Since Chris and I have been married, we have only discussed
girl names, Only girl names!!! If I even mentioned a boy name, he would always
say, “ No, we are having a girl”. Like he could really choose that anyways.
Silly Chris! When we got word that the birthmom has chosen us to parent, a rush
of names came into my mind, Hudson, Kenyon, Peyton and etc. But as soon as I
blurted the name Hudson, no idea where it came from, I knew it was his name.
But, the only thing is now convincing my husband. As we all know, Chris is as stubborn
as a Mule and as soon as I told him his name, he said, wait for it, No! I truly
felt it in my heart his name was Hudson and whatever name Chris would give him,
it was going to be a no. He then started naming names, Michael, Tyrell and etc.
But he will always be Hudson to me. It was finally crunch time, we had to have
a name, the birthmom needed to fill out the paperwork. I was texting my sister,
who was in Rome at the time, and she mentioned the name Jackson. At that very
moment, Chris and I looked at each other and new that was the name. There we
have it folks, Jackson!. Now, his amazing birthmom wanted us to incorporate the
name Tristan as well. As a family rule, we put a family name in there as well,
therefore, we were going to put Miles in there after Chris’s father, saving
Helmut Neher the 3rd for my brother. You’re welcome Bro! After a
crazy 72 hours of waiting and bonding with him, he will be forever known as
Jackson Miles Tristan Duke.
